Free Advice for AT&T

1. Don’t make me wait for over a week to have your Business Account Specialist finally get back to me! We left this guy more messages than I can count.

2. Why would you ask me for a $250 deposit for each line! Seriously this was the craziest thing I had ever heard. They did a credit check on our company. They see we have been profitable for six years with no debt and they still asked for what would have worked out to a $1,250 deposit. When we protested they waived it immediately. That really hacked me off because it made me think they were just trying to take advantage of any business that was dumb enough to accept their terms. DON’T CHARGE DEPOSITS FOR ESTABLISHED COMPANIES!!!

3. The customer service reps we have talked to have all been horrible! I suggest you only hire ex-cheerleaders for your customer service dept. At least they can sound excited.

4. Don’t make me fill out more paperwork than I did when I bought my house!

5. Please give me the option to overnight my new phones instead of the 5 to 7 day shipping you offer.

6. When I call in to AT&T from either my AT&T cellphone or AT&T land line, why do I have to tell you what number I am calling from? Can’t you use the same caller ID you sell me every month?

Feel free to add your own suggestions for improving AT&T’s customer service in the comments. I’m positive they’ll be reading this ;-)

Stealth Client Request

Check out this email we received from a “potential client” (wink, wink). As soon as I read this it reminded me of Alex Muse’s blog post, Avoid Undue Diligence like the Plague. The first thing that really makes me laugh is that Eddy can’t even tell me the name of the company he is asking Squeejee to work for. The last time I entered into negotiations with a secret company I ended up mopping alien slime from floors and scooping poop from a talking dog (I later found out the name of the company was M.I.B.). All kidding aside, why would you ever offer up any details about your business to someone who doesn’t even trust you enough to tell you their name? You can read my response to Eddy below.

From: Eddy XXX <eddy.xxx@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Jul 11, 2008 at 8:07 AM
Subject: Ruby on Rails Developer Requirement
To: wynn@praexis.com

I’m a Quality Services Manager of a San Fransico Bay based Email
Campaign Product Inc. and I am try to gather information that will
support our offshore Development decision. Our privacy policy does not
allow me to disclose further information regarding our company.

I am looking for information related to hourly rates, maturity of
infrastructure, technical skills and communication options (direct vs
onsite or in country). We need 2-3 ROR developers with 2 years of exp.
for more than 3 months with work on our social networking themed
product to be launched by end of this year. Since I am in a tour in
India I will not be able to be on a call/chat for direct interactions
till mid of august. I am expecting a complete proposal with few sample
work in ROR.
bq. Please let me know if you can help with this request.
bq. I look forward to working with you.

Eddy

Dear Eddy,

We would love to help your San Francisco Bay based company with your RoR needs. We can start in August as that is the time we will be finished with a very lucrative project. You see we are helping another confidential and secret client that has vast holdings in Nigeria. We are helping them move a large amount of money and our fee is $38,000,000! Thanks Prince Isa Ahmed, General Abacha will never get his hands on your Father’s money now. So Eddy to answer you other question about rate. Based on our past Nigerian deals our hourly rate works out to $412,468.00 USD an hour. Our infrastructure is very mature and when it’s not we make it sit in the corner. Our technical skills are very technical and our communication can be multi-national as you have seen with our work in Nigeria. We would love to work with your GREAT company even though we don’t know who you are or what you do.

Thanks in advance,
Chris McCroskey
Squeejee

Things to Do if You Want to Work for Squeejee

We recently posted an ad on Craigslist and The Texas Startup Blog for a Designer/CSS Guru position we are trying to fill. After getting at least 50 e-mails inquiring about the job here are few points you should follow when trying to get any design job.

1. Always, always, always send examples of your work! You would be surprised at how many emails with resumes that had no examples of past design work.

2. The bulk of the resumes we received were Word docs. I don’t have a huge problem with Word docs but why not send out a .pdf? Help me help you.

3. We placed the Craigslist ad in multiple cities and got the same exact e-mail from some job hunters for all three cities. What this tells me is that you have no attention to detail. If you paid the slightest bit of attention you would know that you had already applied for this job. This makes me think that you really aren’t interested in our gig, but just shotgunning out your resume in the hopes that you get ANY job.

4. I don’t mind if you have used templates in the past, but please show me some original designs!

The good news is that we have found a hand full of really talented Designers that we will be interviewing.

We’re Hiring!

We are looking for a strong design-oriented front end developer to help design user
interfaces as well as translate from Photoshop comps to XHTML, CSS,
and Javascript. Ideal person would want to learn Rails and help give
design eye for the developer guys on our team.

Required Experience:

• Graphic design, UI design and Photoshop experience
• Standards compliant HTML and CSS skills
• Familiarity with popular Javascript frameworks including jQuery,
  Prototype, Scriptaculous or MooTools

Bonus skills:

• Mad vector skills including Adobe Illustrator or other tool
• Server framework fu, like PHP, Java, or ASP.NET
• Ruby on Rails experience or willing to learn

Perks:

• Work from home
• Flexible hours